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Dating and Love in Our times

Reasons for Conflicts in Relationships

 

 

Work on Relationships Common Reasons for Conflicts in Relationships

Many are the possible common reasons for conflicts in relationships and I cant list them all but some.
While all of them build up to a hot point of a burst up, some are of more serious nature than others.

a. Security

A woman wants to feel safe and secure next to her partner. We often accept to be partners with men who need calming down or have problems with facing authority at work . Many tend to run to their mothers as soon as they feel critisized ! Honestly, sometimes it is our own fault we lose patience and settle down for such in-secure partner. Be patient and you will spot the right man for you.

b. Loyalty

That is one of the reasons for a conflict in your relationship and it would often be under-mind by us trying to excuse the preference of our partner to spend time with his best friend rather than with us. Make sure you are invited first, then decide to join or not, but let it be your choice. After all you are and should be the most respected and valued of his ‘friends’. You are more than that!

c. Responsibility

How many times have you taken responsibility for an event which was initiated by Him? Why do you do that? It didn’t come out nice? Is it something due to your negligence? If Yes, then take full responsibility and apologize. But if the answer is No , stop and think before you say sorry. Do not get taken for granted. Responisibility often becomes a reason for serious conflicts in relationship.

More over, what would happen if you got committed to something important which if not followed by both of you, will result in financial losses? You would not like it that he got committed, did not deliver and in the end passed the ball in your yard, would you? Do not allow the lack of responsibility to become a habitual behavior. You will suffer and break in the end.

d. Caring

Did you feel a lack of interest and care when you fell sick? He did not stop at home to help you go through it, making hot tea or dinner, but went out with friends to the usual Wednesday night pub friends meet up?

Did he ask what needs doing by him, so things would go smoothly during your sick period? If the answer is Not, that could have easily brought up to the colder feeling towards him and eventual bigger conflict.

Not caring enough, ‘turning a deaf ear’ is one common reason for conflicts in relationships. Do not under-mine the importance of a visit to his mom, calling at his gran for a cuppa.  Things add up and soon it builds up a feeling of not caring at all.

e. Order

Most women at around 28-30 have well organized mind. Order keeps us healthy. In every good household there is order of some kind, which makes us enjoy more free time and activities which please us. Make sure you learn from past relationships to sit down in the very beginning of the relationship, more so, if you should cohabit. Lay down the basis for the order in the house, in the day, the week, month and year. Plan. Agree.

Of course you can put in the order plan a point for possible changes. Tweak and carry on. Life together is not so easy. With a bit of order, it could be a very smooth and pleasant ‘walk’.

 

f. Protection

Very general like a single word, but protection could be many faceted. Physical protection is rarely needed but if it happened to you that he didn’t take action when some crazy woman was buulying you at the supermarket, pushing you aside, you most probably were angry more with him than with the lousy woman?

Finacial protection and insurance discussed together is very beneficial.  Open up questions on protection of any kind every time you think about some missing. Do it in a calm way and watch the reaction, but mainly the action. Better act than re-act. When we act, we a re driven by positive stimulus, when re-acting – often negative feelings are triggered and we do not stop to plan our action. The result is a sure conflict.

g. Openness

One of the main issues one should be mindful of is how openly you talk on hot or sensitive subjects. Before we seriously enter into a relationship, we should really test the future partner. Provoking discussing topics which you normally do not have time to address, would be a good idea.  Purposefully you will make a note of what is the degree of openness of your partner. Would you feel OK in the long run, to share your life with someone who cannot or does not like touching certain subjects? Would you feel comfortable, in the absence of his interest, to resort to friends and family?  I can assure you that in the long run you would feel lonely and ‘betrayed’ by the lack of interest. It might bring a big conflict.

h. Connection Effective Tactics

What is your way of technically re-connecting with someone after a biggish conflict? Organizing a dinner with candles and soft music? Wating to hear excuses? Expecting a written appology or explanation? Sometimes the tactics are of utmost importance. My suggestion is to discuss that at the very beginning, when you feel great and enthusiastic. Just mention how you would expect the ‘making peace’ to happen. You would be surprized how much our and men’s opinions and expectations differ somethimes.